“our “unpaid intern” is paid $42,000/year, my clients can’t make up their minds, and more” plus 3 more Ask a Manager

our “unpaid intern” is paid $42,000/year, my clients can’t make up their minds, and more
a client sent me a thank-you check as a way to avoid paying my boss
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I’ve let my CEO think I’m engaged to a woman but I’m not

our “unpaid intern” is paid $42,000/year, my clients can’t make up their minds, and more

Posted: 11 Oct 2018 09:03 PM PDT

It's five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Our "unpaid intern" is paid $42,000/year

I’m an executive assistant for a small nonprofit agency. I have access to people’s salary information and I’ve never really been concerned about the salaries and fairness before now. Occasionally we take on graduate student interns, very rarely are they paid internships, and if they are paid it’s not very substantial.

Last week I processed the unpaid internship paperwork for an intern we’ve had for almost a year. She’s been there longer than the necessary three months, and has qualified for her class credits so she doesn’t really need the internship anymore. I was fixing something with payroll and became aware that she’s been getting paid through an auxiliary account we use for building repair and maintenance. Her salary is bigger than mine and she’s only at the office two days a week, mostly watching TV or playing on her phone. I brought it to my boss’s attention and he gave me a smile and told me to forget about it.

Another colleague raised concerns about her behavior not reflecting our office values which might impact our place as a positive resource in the community, our boss shot him down and told him to leave the intern alone. She has free reign of the agency, including keys to the petty cash which she’s depleted more than once.

We’re due for an audit by our parent agency in December. I’m really concerned these financial discrepancies are going to fall back on me since I’m responsible for approving the time cards and filing the interns and new-hire paperwork. There have been shady financial things in the past that my boss tried to play up as my fault or an error that I didn’t catch.

That is super sketchy, and it really sounds like something untoward is going on here.

It's unlikely that you're going to be held responsible for this; you're not the one authorizing these payments to her. But to protect yourself, put something in writing. For example, send an email to your boss saying, "I want to make sure you're aware of my concerns about the payments going to Jane, who is supposed to be in an unpaid internship. I'm not clear on why these payments are going to her or who authorized it, but I wanted to reiterate my concern that we don't have any documented explanation for the salary she's receiving, and I’m concerned this will be a issue in our audit in December. I won't keep pressing this if you're handling it, just wanted to make sure the concern was flagged."

You might also consider reporting this to your board of directors or to your parent organization. Your boss is being shady as hell.

2. My clients can't make up their minds

I work as a freelance designer and recently have had clients who cannot make up their minds. I end up going in circles with designs. It feels like an endless game of whack-a-mole, they ask for X, I give them X, but now they really want Y, so I give them Y, but actually let’s go back to X, no never mind, let’s do Z, so I give them Z. At what point do I say: I’ve given you multiple options and you’re still not satisfied … really don’t know how to even finish that sentence. I read your pieces about breaking up with clients, but I really want these gigs. How do I tell them enough is enough with the redesigns? I feel like they’re violating boundaries. How can I nicely be stern about this? I find when I work with clients, I have been more compliant because I want the job and when I speak up it’s not always received well — perhaps I’m usually frustrated at that point. How can I be nice and assertive?

The easiest way to handle this going forward is to clearly lay out in your contract how many rounds of revisions are included in the scope of the work (for example, three). Then, when you send the first design, you remind them by saying, "Our contract gives us up to three rounds of revisions at this stage.” And then if they get to three rounds and they’re still revising, you let them know how much additional revisions will cost (even better if you laid that out in the contract too). Or if you want to be especially nice, you can say, "I can give you an extra round of revisions for free, but beyond that I'd need to charge you for the additional work."

It sounds like you don't have that kind of contract in place now, but you can still set limits — "I can do one more round of revisions after this, but then we'd be outside the scope of the project and I'd need to charge an additional ($X) for further rounds."

3. I'm being kept in the dark during my notice period

After two years at my current company, I decided to leave. I found a great opportunity and am now in the position of having told my team — who I admire very much — and getting through another three weeks before I move on. I gave my employer and close colleagues six weeks’ notice. I’ve done my best to say my goodbyes in person or through thoughtful email. I’ve created written documentation of what is going on, what I oversee, processes, important contact information, etc.

But now, in attempting to organize and strategize with the leadership team around my exit and how to help support my team, there are conversations going on without me and leaving me completely in the dark. This is a pattern and a large part of the reason that I am leaving to begin with, but what am I supposed to do? I have no knowledge or information for my team, yet they are being pulled into transition conversations. Should I just sit silently and not manage anymore? Do I leave early? Do I just tolerate it for that time? I feel so angry and am afraid of letting my emotions get in the way of a professional and graceful exit. It feels like a total assault on transparent communication and I’m afraid of bringing down my already frustrated and wondering-about-the-future team. Do you have any advice?

This isn't that uncommon when someone is leaving — the work often starts moving on without you, before you’re actually gone. That's okay! It's not personal, and it's actually useful for them to start moving on while you're still there, because if they do run into things they need to ask you, you'll still be there to ask.

That said, it's a little trickier because you're a manager and you of course want to be able to fill in your team on what's going on. If you haven't already, try saying to your own manager, "My staff are asking questions about what to expect in the transition and I don't have answers. Can you give me any info I can share with them, or if there isn't a solid plan yet, can you give me a sense of when they'll likely hear something?"

If that doesn't produce much of use, then be straightforward with your team (without being grumpy about it): "I haven't gotten a solid sense of the plans yet, but once I hear something I'll fill you in. If that doesn't happen before I leave, then Jane is the best person for you to talk to once I'm gone."

But basically, this is just how it sometimes goes when you're leaving. Don't leave early over it or get angry over it— look at it as if you’re being paid to still be available if they need you (which they may not).

4. I'm trying to pay my old employer money I owe them, but they won't respond to me

I left my previous job having taken four more vacation days than I had accrued, and I was told I *might* be responsible for paying back the money for those days. About two weeks after my last day, I received a letter stating I did owe my previous employer money for the four days. The letter gave me a gross amount, with instructions to contact the payroll office for the net amount and repayment details.

While I’m annoyed at this (in particular because the pay there was significantly under market rate), I understand this is the policy. My problem is I’ve now left multiple voicemails for the payroll office over two weeks, and no one has returned my call. I’ve also left voicemails and spoken with HR, who said they would contact payroll on my behalf. Still nothing.

So … how long do I have to keep pursuing them? Is there a point where they’re not going to ever actually ask me for the money? Or is there a statue of limitations on something like this? I don’t want to be sent to collections, and I’ve made multiple efforts to get in touch, but beyond repeated calling I’m not sure what I can do. Are there next steps or do I just wait to maybe hear from them? Do I go old-school and send a letter via registered mail then let it go?

I'd give it another two weeks in case someone is on vacation or snowed under with other things and then call HR again. Say that you're of course willing to return any money you owe, but it's been a month (by that point) and you're concerned that no one has responded to you. Say, "I'd like to get this handled within the next week. Is there someone else there who can get me the information I need so that I can close this out?"

Annoying as this is, it's in your best interests to try to resolve it so that they don't suddenly come after the money later. (That said, your state may have a time limit on how long they have to collect it from you, so you could check on that. Any lawyers want to comment in the comment section?)

5. I can't get time off for a family trip at Christmas

I've been working, part-time, for a small retail business for the past three years. This business has a policy of no time off during the holidays, as well as having to work either Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve. I have had full availability the past two holiday seasons, but this year, my in-laws decided to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary by flying the entire family to Florida at Christmas. Not knowing what to do, I requested time off from work, emphasizing that I would be back in time to work New Year's Eve, but my request was denied. I love my job and don't want to quit, but this is a major event for my family and my in-laws have already bought us all tickets. Is there a tactful way to approach this issue with the management?

Well … you can try, but if the policy is no time off around the holidays and it's retail, it might not be that fruitful. That said, you can give it a shot, and it might turn out that they're not willing to lose an employee of three years over it. Try stressing that the plans were made without your knowledge and that you know the policy and wouldn't have made these plans on your own, but now that they've been made for you, it's going to cause a family blow-up if you don't go. But given that this is retail at the holidays, it's possible that you may have to choose between the trip and the job.

I have been working for the past two years in the construction field, building luxury homes for wealthy clients. One of the clients we have, Gilbert, has been our client for the past few years and the business relationship between him and my boss has been so fruitful for both parties, that we have built four houses for Gilbert already since I have been here. My boss, Adam, also happens to be a close family member.

Gilbert will occasionally give me a list of items that need fixing or attention (usually items an inspector noticed during a visit) and my job is to handle those items and make sure the home is ready to be shown by realtors. Gilbert has become a great friend of my boss, and will frequently join us during holidays with his wife. So handling these items has always been the norm and I enjoy doing them since Gilbert and his wife are nice people.

A few days ago however, Gilbert and Adam had a falling out, and when Adam found out I had been doing these tasks for Gilbert, he was very upset and told me not to do anything for him again without his approval. I was not in trouble because as I mentioned above, this is how it always was. That afternoon when I returned to the office, I heard Adam and Gilbert arguing over money. The line “If you want to have her (meaning me) doing tasks for you then you need to pay me (my boss)” was used by my boss. I guess the problem was that Gilbert has been told before he needs to hire a real maintenance person for oversee these homes, but does not want to spend the money.

Fast forward to this morning, I grab the mail from my box and head to my desk. I received a letter from Gilbert saying how happy he was that I was helping and how thankful he was to have me helping him so consistently over the years. The last line in the letter was “Enjoy this gift.” His "gift” was a very large check, one that would really help the horrible financial situation I’ve been in the past year. It’s very obvious why he gave me the check, I assume to spite my boss and make a point.

My question is, what do I do? My financial situation has been so horrible this past year that I occasionally have to go without meals to pay rent. This is not something my boss (or the rest of my family) knows. However, I almost feel as though that money should go to my boss since they were arguing about money, or that at the very least, I should disclose that I received this gift from Gilbert. I am just afraid that disclosing this will mean I miss out on the thousands of dollars hes offered me. Not disclosing it leaves me vulnerable to a bad situation if Gilbert ever tells my boss that he gave me money. I feel like I am being used as a pawn in their game of toxic masculinity.

P.S. My boss and his family, as well as Gilbert, are very, very well off. So I don’t feel bad about taking the money since I know a check of this amount is expendable to them both. I am just worried about the ramifications of not disclosing this and my boss finding out that I had essentially been keeping a pretty big secret.

I would love to tell you that you can keep this money without mentioning it to your boss. But unfortunately, I don't think you can, at least not ethically.

You need to disclose it, because (a) that's money that you're getting from a client, which makes it your employer's business, and (b) it's money as a thank-you for work that you've done in the course of your job for your employer. Like, you wouldn't have been doing all that work for Gilbert if you didn't have your current job, right? It was part of your work responsibilities. And (c) it could potentially impact your employer's business dealings — if they're trying to tell Gilbert that he needs to pay for the work you've been doing for him, it's going to complicate things if he now says, "Well, I just gave her a large check to cover it." And it's really going to complicate things if he tries to argue that that makes that work a separate arrangement between you and him, rather than services your company was providing.

On its face, it certainly doesn't seem unreasonable that your boss wants Gilbert to pay for these extra services — and it makes sense that he would direct Gilbert to pay the company (as opposed to you directly) since that's how this works. It sounds like Gilbert was trying to score a snarky point by deciding, "Sure, I'll pay … but it's not going to Adam." But it's not really his prerogative to decide that — his business relationship is with your company, not you directly, and you were acting as an agent of your company when you did that work.

So I do think your boss needs to know about this. And for now at least, you’re better off not looking at the money as “money I was given that may now be taken away from me,” but rather as “a weird check making me a pawn in a business dispute.” I’m sorry!

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