“remote work bait-and-switch, changing clothes in the office bathroom, and more” plus 3 more Ask a Manager
“remote work bait-and-switch, changing clothes in the office bathroom, and more” plus 3 more Ask a Manager |
- remote work bait-and-switch, changing clothes in the office bathroom, and more
- I went on a job interview and the office was filthy
- sleep terrors and a naked boss: when coworkers share hotel rooms
- we have to write deeply personal poems and share them at a staff meeting
| remote work bait-and-switch, changing clothes in the office bathroom, and more Posted: 29 Apr 2019 09:03 PM PDT It's five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss said I could work from anywhere — but keeps telling me to come into the office I started a new job about six months ago. The company is based in City A, and I live far away (multi-hour flight, different time zone far) in City B. My manager, "Jane," also lives here in City B, but we are it; everyone else is in City A or near to it. When I was hired, Jane said she didn't care where I worked from as long as things got done, which was great as I prefer working from home. In reality, Jane has been limiting my work from home days to twice a week despite being impressed with me and all of my work. We each have an office in a co-working space, and even when we're both in, we very rarely speak to each other (because it's not necessary and she is very busy). Twice now I've asked if there is any issue with my work. She says no, everything is fine. And there's never been a work-related reason to ask me to come in to the office. Do you have any insight into this? Jane has repeated her "doesn't matter where you work from" philosophy a few times since my hiring interview, but I'm confused by the disconnect when it comes to putting it into practice. Usually what happens is I’ll say “I’ll be working from home tomorrow” and she says "Actually, I want you to come into the office.” I oblige but privately I am very annoyed. Working flexibly and remotely was a big plus in taking this job. I'm regularly contacted by recruiters and I'm getting tempted to start looking because I feel this was a bit of a bait and switch. Talk to her more directly. Asking if there's an issue with your work is too subtle a way to get at this; you need to explicitly say something like, "When I was hired, you said I could work from wherever I wanted as long as work got done. That was one of the reasons I accepted the job. You've been asking me to come in around three days a week, and I'm trying to figure out if something has changed since you hired me. Do you have concerns about my work or my productivity when I'm at home?" See what she says to that and be prepared to say, "I'd like to be able to go by that initial agreement, which was a key factor in me coming on board, and just come in when there's a specific need for me to be here in person on a given day." 2. Changing into biking clothes in the office bathroom I’m in my first job as an HR assistant. Many people in the organization are similarly young and we’re generally pretty casual. I have been wondering about the social norms around changing outfits in the bathroom. One of the great joys I’ve found since starting my job is biking home from work. I usually put my bike on a bus in the morning (wearing my work clothes) and change to bike back. We don’t have another space I could change other than the women’s bathroom. There is a bike room in the building, but anyone can enter at any time and I normally run into a male bike commuter every time I’m there. People definitely change sometimes in the bathroom (I notice someone doing it like once a month), but if I had my way I’d be biking 2-3 days a week. Are there any tips for what I should and should not do? Am I overthinking this? Changing in the bathroom is fine and normal! Use a stall so that coworkers aren't walking in on you in your underwear (don't be these people), but it's totally fine to change in the bathroom. 3. My manager showed me a graphic, violent video Warning: graphic violent content below I work as a banquet server at a large hotel and convention center. Yesterday, my manager, Fergus, approached me while I was setting up for an event and said. "Come look at this video, this wife cheated on her husband!" and proceeded to show me a real-life video on his phone of a man being brutally murdered with a machete while the wife looked on and tried to stop the attack (her husband attacking her lover). Disgusted, I said "What the f***!" and walked away. I later saw him proceed to show the video to nearly every other server working. I did hear him preface the video before showing it to other people by asking, "Are you okay with gory things?" after he showed it to me. My issue isn't really with the gore, though that’s not really appropriate either, it's with the violence. Lots of people are not squeamish and would probably say “yes” to that question because they don’t mind watching gory things in the context of a scene from a horror movie (which is fake) or a medical/surgery video (where someone is most likely being helped, not hurt), but wouldn’t want to watch a real person getting murdered. How should I address it now, after the fact? Should I bring it up with him, his boss, or HR? I think what he did was really inappropriate, but I don't want to get too involved or be the reason he loses his job. What the hell? That's extremely disturbing and inappropriate for work. It's unlikely he's going to get fired over this; a stern talking-to and warning is far more likely. But if for some reason he did get fired, you wouldn’t be the reason for that — his own behavior would be. (But again, unlikely, unless this is part of a pattern.) So yeah, please talk to his boss, if she's someone who addresses problems forthrightly, or HR if she's not. Since he's your manager, you want someone with some authority over him to handle this. 4. I'm being demoted after resigning I’m a director of a department and when I resigned yesterday with three weeks notice, my boss told me that they are going to combine another related department with mine and have that department’s director take over as director of the newly-combined department. They asked that I wait several days to announce my resignation to colleagues so that they have time to solidify the transition plan. Now, my boss is saying that later this week, they will put the combined departments into effect and I will be demoted from director to a lower-level position with a pay cut — and I’ve found out through other channels that there will be a meeting tomorrow to present the reorg plan to the rest of the management team (excluding me) and that they’re positioning it as that I’ve quit in response to the impending demotion. In addition to feeling like this situation is pretty messed up and terrible for my reputation, taking the demotion will have financial consequences on my unused vacation payout (which is a fairly substantial amount). I’m wondering what the most elegant response would be in this situation — should I announce my resignation to my colleagues now to try to get ahead of the weird spin being placed on this? Or is that going to just add fuel to the fire? And is there any professional way to combat the demotion at this point? I’ve offered to remain in place to train my successor and aid in the transition, but the demotion wasn’t part of the deal — am I better off rescinding the notice period of my resignation and quitting before it takes effect? What on earth? Even if this was already in the works when you resigned, there's no reason not to just let you work out your notice period with your same title and pay rate. Something is really rotten here. If you can afford to leave right away (and not have it affect your vacation time pay-out — which it might; check your company's policies if you don't live in a state that mandates it regardless), I would say this: "I gave you three weeks notice because I wanted to help with the transition. But I can't stay on if you're cutting my pay. If you're able to leave me at my current title and pay through my notice period, I'd be glad to do that. But I can't agree to a pay cut, so if there's no flexibility there, I'd need to move up my last day to before that takes effect." And yeah, I would ignore their request to keep it quiet for now and start letting people know so that you have more control over the narrative. 5. Should I apply through every website where a job is posted? I’m currently job searching. In my industry, there are four major websites where jobs are posted. It’s not unusual for me to see the same job posted on two or more of those sites. If I see a job I’m interested in, I’ll just apply for it wherever I see it posted first. Recently, I was talking to a friend about my job search, and he suggested that if I’m interested in a job, I should apply everywhere I see it posted. His reasoning was that if I apply multiple times, I’m showing that I’m really interested, and that I’m seriously searching. I’m not sure I agree with his reasoning. I’d think submitting once would show that I’m interested and seriously searching well enough. I’d also worry that applying multiple times would reflect poorly on me. Maybe hiring managers would assume I applied multiple times on accident because I lack attention to detail, or wasn’t being thoughtful about applications. What do you think? Is it better to submit 1 solid application, or multiple applications through different websites? Do not do that. Your friend's advice is weird. Applying multiple times doesn't make you look extra interested; it makes you look like you're applying to a zillion companies and didn't remember you'd already applied for this job. Or if it's clear you're doing it intentionally, then it looks really pushy, and like you think it's okay to clutter up their application system (and annoy them) in order to show "gumption." You show interest by applying, which you already did. Don't take job search advice from that friend. remote work bait-and-switch, changing clothes in the office bathroom, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
| I went on a job interview and the office was filthy Posted: 29 Apr 2019 10:59 AM PDT A reader writes: I went on a job interview today and the office was absolutely filthy and so gross. I met with the CEO in her office and while she seemed to be a nice lady, she looked very disorganized and kind of out of it. He hair was a mess and her fingernails were long and dirty. Okay, fine. But the whole office was a mess. There was a dirty dog running around trying to get my attention, and there was a pile of gross-looking dog food with flies on it. I love dogs. But this dog looked like a stray just brought in off the street — not well cared for. There was a candy dish on the CEO’s desk with loose M&Ms and what looked like half melted/mushed chocolate eggs. The woman who brought me up to her office even indicated that she was put off by it. All up and down the halls were little compost bins, kind of like the kind you might keep on your kitchen counter, but there were literally over a dozen, maybe one outside each office and in all the common areas. I’d actually had an interview with this organization a couple of years ago and they mentioned that there had been a recent fire. I figured the state of the place was due to the recent fire and they were dealing with it. And today in person the CEO kept referencing this “recent” fire. I mean, how long is that an excuse? Of course I know this is just an interview and I don’t have to do anything. But this position would be the step I’ve been hoping for AND she said they would be contacting my references. All I can think about is how dirty the place looked and I was squirting hand sanitizer up to my elbows before I even got to my car. I can’t imagine bringing people in for meetings and being taken seriously. So what can I do or say? Is there anyway to ask or talk about the cleanliness issue? Can I try to work out a telecommuting plan? Or do I just have to accept that unless I’m okay with working in this mess this job isn’t worth it? I don't think you should take this job. The thing is, it's not just that they have a dirty office. It's that they're apparently fine with working in squalor. And it's not like it’s a temporary measure because they'd experienced some crisis; based on your interview a few years ago, this is just the way they do things. And the CEO seemed out of it! That's a big deal. Even if you worked from home and never had to come into the office, I'm really skeptical that you wouldn't still notice severe problems. In fact, I'm curious what you know about their work output — because do they really have it together in other areas? Are they really coming across as polished and professional and effective with clients? As a thought experiment, I tried to decide whether there’s anything they could have said that would make me feel better about this. Like, what if they’d said, “We know the office space is pretty gross. We’ve had such a high influx of client projects this year that we haven’t been maintaining the space the way we’d like to. Right now we’re just really focused on work, but we’ll deal with the space later this year.” And … still no. Rather than expecting people to work in squalor, they could hire people to bring the space up to reasonably acceptable standards. Plus, you know that it’s been like this for at least a few years! An interview isn't just about them deciding if they want to hire you. It's also about you gathering data on them. Don't talk yourself out of what you're seeing. I went on a job interview and the office was filthy was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
| sleep terrors and a naked boss: when coworkers share hotel rooms Posted: 29 Apr 2019 09:29 AM PDT Traveling for work can be stressful – the bad airport food, the jet lag, the unfamiliar bed. Now imagine that at the end of a long day, you head back to your hotel for some down time … but your coworker is sharing the hotel room with you. If you're in an industry where people never share hotel rooms, the idea of sharing sleeping space with a coworker probably sounds preposterous. But it's a common practice in some fields (nonprofits and academia, to name two). And it can be just as fraught with problems as you might imagine. Today at Slate, I wrote about the many, many ways making employees share hotel rooms can go wrong. You can read it here. sleep terrors and a naked boss: when coworkers share hotel rooms was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
| we have to write deeply personal poems and share them at a staff meeting Posted: 29 Apr 2019 07:59 AM PDT A reader writes: I work for a small values-driven company, and recently there has been an effort to do more relationship building among staff. Ahead of our next all staff meeting, we are required to write a “where I’m from” poem, based on the format of this work by George Ella Lyon. While it seems like a fine introspective journaling activity, I am uncomfortable with the requirement to write them and share them with our coworkers and leadership. Especially since the instructions state “Make yourself cry a little. It should do that” and “The key is making this as specific and personal as possible.” The suggested categories include “the worst things that you have been told,” “accidents or traumatic experiences,” and “losses.” I’ve checked out your responses to other reader questions like the mandatory feelings chart, and the mandatory mental health check-in, but wanted to get your insight on this as well. I don’t like the idea of having to write/share poetry at all, much less this type of forced vulnerability exercise. I feel like if I object it’ll be seen as anti-bonding or anti-team building. What do you think? What the hell! This is really inappropriate to require of people at work. I mean, if you want to do a poetry exercise, fine. I'm not a fan, and you're likely to irritate a bunch of other non-fans of such activities, but as long as there are relatively loose parameters, people can decide for themselves how serious they want to get with it … and can do something silly if they don't want to get personal. But "make this as personal as possible" and "it should make you cry" and "tell us about your trauma" … my head is exploding. Are you comfortable pushing back on this? It would be utterly reasonable for you to say, "I appreciate the recent efforts to build relationships among the staff, but this crosses a lot of boundaries for me, and I imagine for some others. I am not comfortable being asked to share traumas or painful personal episodes at work, or being asked to make myself cry during a work activity. Can we reconsider this and either provide an alternative for people who aren't comfortable with this or let people opt out?" Ideally you'd get other coworkers to join in saying this with you so that you're not the sole objector. It's true that you might be seen as anti-bonding or anti-team-building. That's not the worst thing in the world though. Sometimes there's enough value in speaking up and saying "this is messed up" that it's worth spending some political capital to do it. But if you're not comfortable doing that, I'd just ignore some of these instructions. Write a poem that isn't personal, that doesn't talk about trauma. Keep it light, and if you're called out on it, you can say, "I didn't have anything more personal that I was comfortable sharing in a work setting.” This seems to be the year that boundary violations at work have gone off the deep end. we have to write deeply personal poems and share them at a staff meeting was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
| You are subscribed to email updates from Ask a Manager. To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
| Google, 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA 94043, United States | |
Lexo edhe:
