“all of my 2018 book recommendations” plus 3 more Ask a Manager |
- all of my 2018 book recommendations
- update: my boss talks about her kids non-stop
- update: how can I brace myself for my toxic new job?
- open thread – December 14-15, 2018
all of my 2018 book recommendations Posted: 14 Dec 2018 10:59 AM PST All year long, I've made a weekly book recommendation when kicking off the weekend open thread. These aren't work-related books; they're just books I love and think everyone else should read. Sometimes they're books that I'm in the middle of reading, and other times they're just long-standing favorites. Here's the complete list of what I've recommended this year (maybe in time for holiday gift-shopping!). I've bolded my favorites of the favorites. 99 Glimpses of Princess Margaret, by Craig Brown. I love a good malcontent, and she was that. This book is gossipy and fascinating (for example: she made even close friends call her "ma'am," and her husband once left a note in her desk headed "24 reasons I hate you"). And if you're looking for more, here are my lists of book recommendations from 2017 and from 2016 and from 2015. Please note: This site is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. all of my 2018 book recommendations was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
update: my boss talks about her kids non-stop Posted: 14 Dec 2018 10:00 AM PST It's "where are you now?" month at Ask a Manager, and all December I'm running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose boss talked about her kids non-stop and sometimes made judgmental comments about their colleagues’ parenting? Here’s the update. I took seriously your advice (and the commenters') to stop the undermining comments and jokes about Lizzie's child-focused chatter. I found that stopping it myself stopped others doing it, so I didn't need to have an explicit conversation. However, I haven't felt able to have a direct conversation with Lizzie. I had been trying to find a comfortable moment to sit down with her, but our one-on-ones have been cancelled repeatedly, and when we've had them we've had to deal with issues of the moment rather than having the time to talk more broadly. I had my performance review with Lizzie which went well, but somehow I couldn't raise the child-chatter issue there, as it would have seemed a bit defensive or reactionary. Unfortunately, since I wrote to you, our team has been the recipient of a few organizational barbs; one staff member was poached by a senior manager, and their transfer processed by HR without even letting Lizzie know. We also moved desks to a more coveted spot, and people who ended up in our previous ill-lit noisy area have protested by obstructing our work. As well, Lizzie has been dealing with a performance issue, and it looks like the staff member isn't going down without a fight. So, all in all, she has enough on her plate at present. But there's hope on the horizon; as we head into the holiday season, Lizzie has expressed her disapproval of parents who give their kids “plastic rubbish.” When another team member shopped at lunch for little stocking stuffers for her children, Lizzie said in my hearing "MORE presents for your kids!?!" I think this gives me a legitimate 'in' to raising the issue, and I will do so when we next have a catch-up. update: my boss talks about her kids non-stop was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
update: how can I brace myself for my toxic new job? Posted: 14 Dec 2018 09:00 AM PST It's "where are you now?" month at Ask a Manager, and all December I'm running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer this fall asking about how to brace herself for a new job that she’d been warned would be very toxic? Here’s the update. I’ve only been here for two months, so there’s not much to report but here’s what has happened so far. The atmosphere is just as toxic and dysfunctional as I was warned. Staff morale is quite low still and everyone is wary of management. There are a lot of grumblings about leadership and, as a result of decisions they have not agreed with, staff question everything – said or unsaid. Many are looking to leave as quickly as possible and it is no secret. The tenseness also affects peer-to-peer relationships, since people aren’t sure if they can or should trust each other. During my first 3 and a half weeks here, several times a day, I got some type of remark from my new colleagues about not letting negativity or bad attitudes affect me, keeping my head up, being sure to maintain a good work/life balance, and the like. People would seek me out to tell me so or, when I was going through my orientation and being introduced, would repeat their specific “warning” several times. It was quite overwhelming but it has lessened, thankfully. I also got more pointed warnings regarding my immediate boss, which was also a bit jarring. Those have lessened too, but some of the stories I’ve heard about issues (almost 20 direct report resignations or department changes in 5 years, all of whom have cited my boss as their reason for leaving is just one example) have stuck with me and I am keeping my guard up. In an interesting development, however, I do believe that I am being shown favour by management that has stopped me from personally experiencing a lot of what others complain(ed) about. I believe that this stems from my being chosen as an international representative for the country shortly after starting the job. This, the CEO and several other senior managers have told me personally, makes them very “proud” to have me as an employee. I do believe that for these and a few other reasons, I am being treated with kid gloves, so to speak. It is an interesting development and one that I am trying not to get caught up in, just as I am not trying to fall into other workplace drama. Neither would bode well for me and I am trying to keep my wits about me. In the midst of all of this, I have made a new friend. Despite being burned out, she still has a pleasant attitude and has been very good at helping me to navigate the temperaments of my new colleagues. I appreciate her no-nonsense, matter-of-fact way of speaking and her refusal to gossip about workplace drama. She really does live above all the things that are happening around us and I admire that. We check in on each other, eat lunch together, and have hung out outside of work as well. I really do think we’ll be friends long after we both leave here and I’m very happy to have met her. Also, being able to work again has allowed me to begin to build my savings back up. I am on my way to having a decent down payment for a car and I begun saving for and working on two entrepreneurial ventures. Thing at work are not perfect, but I’m making the situation work for me how I can. The AAM commenter community was incredible and is still very helpful. I have most definitely taken your and their advice to heart and I am doing my best to not get swept up into drama or take sides. It is difficult not to (sometimes I want to vent to whomever is closest to me) but I’m trying. I have re-read the comments on my original post several times, especially during moments of frustration, and will continue to do so. Also, as was suggested by numerous commenters, I am still on the look out for another job. update: how can I brace myself for my toxic new job? was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
open thread – December 14-15, 2018 Posted: 14 Dec 2018 08:00 AM PST It's the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue. open thread – December 14-15, 2018 was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
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