“who pays for coffee, combining an interview and a trip, and more” plus 3 more Ask a Manager |
- who pays for coffee, combining an interview and a trip, and more
- get your signed copy of the new Ask a Manager book now
- my coworker won’t stop complaining about work
- my boss pressures me to take sick leave, but I can’t afford to
| who pays for coffee, combining an interview and a trip, and more Posted: 24 Apr 2018 09:03 PM PDT It's five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Who pays for coffee? I started working in a new office a few months ago and am trying to navigate coffee buying etiquette. My new office is very small. There’s only my boss and me in my department, and another department with a handful of staff members. Also, I work for a nonprofit, so the budget for expenses is small. Finally, before starting this new job, I was out of work for a while, so I am trying to be frugal and to save some money. Sometimes, my boss invites me to get coffee, so we can have a change of setting for our meetings, or we get coffee on the way to meet with a client. My boss always pays. Since we are a nonprofit with a limited budget, I’m pretty sure he is paying out of pocket for a good portion of these, but I’m not 100% sure. Should I be offering to pick up the tab, at least some of the time? Is there a way to politely offer to buy my own coffee while not offering to buy his? I also have a coworker who often purchases coffee for everyone in the office. Most of the time, she just surprises us by bringing everyone coffee, but once in a while she’ll check in first before she goes for a coffee run. No one else seems to pay her back, though I could be mistaken. She has also never hinted at getting reimbursed — e.g., saying that coffee was about $X. I could offer to pay her back — but although I really appreciate a coffee, I wouldn’t have purchased one myself since I am trying to save money. Or I could return the favor and surprise her with coffee, but then I feel like I would need to buy coffee for everyone. Even with a small office, buying coffee for everyone can be expensive. On the other hand, she is spending that amount of money on a regular basis. Any advice? When your boss suggests coffee, assume that either he or the organization is paying for it. It's a business meeting, plus he's inviting you, plus he's your boss — each of those factors on their own point to you not paying, and taken all together, you definitely don't need to pay. (And it's very possible he's expensing it, even at a nonprofit. That kind of thing varies by organization.) With your coworker, you definitely shouldn't expect to reimburse her if she's surprising you with coffee that you otherwise wouldn't have requested. But it's worth confirming that others aren't paying her back when she takes orders (it's possible that it's happening and you're not seeing it). So you could ask a coworker, "Do people normally pay Jane back when she gets coffee?" (Who knows, maybe you'll learn her spouse runs a coffee shop and she's getting it all for free.) Or you could just ask Jane, “This is so nice of you — should I reimburse you for this?" If it does turn out that she'd prefer reimbursement and you don't really want to buy yourself coffee, you can p opt out of future coffee runs. But if she's doing it for free and you keep accepting, it'd be a nice gesture to pick up a coffee or some other small treat for her occasionally. I don't think you'd be obligated to do it for your whole office, since buying a round for everyone is pretty unusual behavior. You could just casually say, "I was getting myself a latte and I picked one up for you too." 2. Combining an interview and a trip, and how long employers can wait I’m finishing up graduate school in June, and beginning my job search. I’d ideally like to work in California, which is tough because I currently live and go to school in Boston. Thus far, I’ve been up-front with the companies that I’m interviewing with — I finish in June and probably won’t be able to work until August because I need to take my boards and move across the country. With this timeline in mind, is it okay to move slowly in scheduling interviews? I’m actually traveling out in June to attend a wedding, and I received a request for a site visit/interview. Would I be wrong to try offer the dates of my trip and try to schedule the site visit during my trip? It’s unlikely that my travel would be paid for by the interviewing company, and I can’t reasonably start until August due to the reasons above. However, does scheduling an interview so far in advance make me seem disinterested? This depends a lot on your field. There are some fields where it would be completely fine to apply now if you're not available in August, and others where they’re going to be looking to bring someone on more quickly than that. If you're not sure if it's reasonable in your field, just be really up-front during the first conversation you have with an employer ("I should note that I'm likely not available until August because of X — does that work with your timeline?"). But if they're fine with that, then interviewing in June for a start date in August isn't too far away (at least assuming it's not very early June and very late August). That's actually pretty normal for a lots of jobs; there are often six weeks or more between interview and start date — a few weeks or more to go through the whole process and make a decision, plus a few weeks after the offer before the person starts. The tricky part is more likely to be that if they're scheduling interviews now, they likely want to do those interviews now and may not want to wait until June to talk to you — because they may lose other good candidates in the meantime if they wait on you before deciding who to make an offer to. It's usually easier to get a delayed start date than it is to push back an interview timeframe. Because of that, don't get too wed to interviewing there in June. Just say something like, "I'm actually going to be in CITY on June 12-15 if that happens to work for your timeline, although I can of course come out sooner if you'd prefer it." (And if at all possible, I'd urge you to go out earlier, especially if they're paying for it — because they may end up finding other candidates they like before June rolls around.) 3. How can I get more comfortable dressing up for work? I’m about to graduate college and I have a job lined up where the dress code is business causal. I don’t like wearing nicer dress clothes because it makes me feel awkward and out of place. How can I make myself feel more comfortable getting dressed up for work? Well, a different way to look at it is that you'd look out of place if you were dressed more informally than everyone else. Sticking to an office dress code will actually make you look in place, not out of place. That doesn't solve the part about feeling awkward, of course — but you're likely to get used to the clothes pretty quickly, and I bet you won't feel nearly as awkward about it after you've been dressing that way five days a week for a month or so (and around other people who are dressed the same way). And for what it's worth, business casual is often a lot more "casual" than "business." It'll depend on your particular office, but you're likely to see a lot more khakis than blazers. 4. Candidates seem scared to submit travel expenses My workplace regularly recruits graduating college students. We invite our finalists to a day of interviews in Expensive Major City. When we extend the invite, we let them know that we will reimburse travel and can book on their behalf if they prefer (we understand that not every student can pay these expenses up front). We also include brief guidelines and a list of nearby hotels where they can get our corporate rate. Time and again, I’ve noticed that our entry-level candidates never request travel reimbursement until after they get a yes/no about the job — even if it means waiting weeks to submit. Only one in three years has taken our offer to book flight and hotel for them. I strongly suspect recent grads think that asking for reimbursement will hurt their chances of getting the job. The delayed reimbursement requests don’t really cause a problem for me, but I feel bad that candidates might be stressing out inappropriately about this. Unless they do something crazy, like ordering Oysters Rockefeller and $1,000 bottles of champagne from room service at the Four Seasons, they shouldn’t worry that submitting expenses — or not doing it — is reflecting on them. The offer is sincere, and we budgeted for it. Plus, it’s in our interests to get them here and to see them rested and at their best. Any way to let them know this? Yeah, I bet you're right that they're worried it'll somehow reflect on them. Maybe you could say something like, "We want to get you reimbursed as promptly as possible, so please don't feel you need to wait until the hiring process is over — you can send your receipts to me any time, and actually sooner is better on our end." Or, do you do any kind of follow-up with them post-interview? If so, you could include a line like "I want to get you reimbursed — can you send over your receipts?" But if you're not already doing any kind of follow-up by email, that's adding more work for you. One other thought: You might get more people taking you up on your offer to book the travel for them if you present it as something closer to the default option. For example: "We'd be glad to book your flight and hotel reservation for you (just fill out the attached form so we have all the info we need). Or if you prefer, you're welcome to book it yourself and we'll reimburse you for it if you submit receipts.” 5. Can I recycle my examples in "tell me about a time when…" interviews? I have been interviewing for positions for the past seven months. I have 10+ years experience in my field, but these roles would be a big step up. During the last interview I had, all of the questions I was asked save one (the very last question) were behavioral questions (“tell me about a time when…”). This meant about 12-14 “tell me about a time when” questions. I felt that by the last third of the interview, I was running out of new “times when.” I have experience, but there are only so many times that I have had to resolve conflicts or deal with a difficult person that are different and clearly highlight the skills I think they’re looking for. So my question is, is it okay to revisit/recycle “times when” when answering behavioral-style questions in a single interview? Second, should I be expecting this interview style for future interviews? Yes, if you're getting a dozen different "tell me about a time" when questions, it's okay to use a few of the situations more than once (assuming that you're bringing out different aspects of them each time). Ideally you'd have at least four or five separate situations that you could draw answers from, but you don't need 12 completely different situations to talk about. And yes, expect behavioral interview questions for future interviews too. It's a popular method of interviewing (and I'd argue a better one, since you learn a lot more by hearing people talk about how they've actually operated in the past; it's easier for people to bluff or give BS answers to more hypothetical questions). who pays for coffee, combining an interview and a trip, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
| get your signed copy of the new Ask a Manager book now Posted: 24 Apr 2018 10:59 AM PDT
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What people are saying "The author's friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers' lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience." "A must-read for anyone who works…[Green's] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work." "I am a HUGE fan of Alison Green's Ask a Manager column. I never miss it and always want more. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor." Order your copy now!get your signed copy of the new Ask a Manager book now was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
| my coworker won’t stop complaining about work Posted: 24 Apr 2018 09:30 AM PDT A reader writes: A friend and coworker of mine (we met at our current job and became friends outside of work), I'll call her Donna, is deeply unhappy. Her morale is low and rightfully so—her manager is, to be blunt, incompetent, and she's had to put up with multiple negative experiences over the past couple of years. She's been looking for another job but without much success. We work in a relatively niche industry so she's had trouble finding much, though I've tried to help her. I spoke to an old colleague on her behalf and gave a recommendation, which resulted in her resume moving forward in the hiring process at said colleague's company, but she didn't end up getting an offer. I've also offered to connect her with other contacts of mine but she doesn't seem to want to talk to any of them (just wants me to find things out for her/ask questions on her behalf). The biggest problem at this point is that this is affecting Donna's work and her interactions at work. Any time I talk to her, she just wants to complain and is clearly miserable. A few times she's even complained to me about work that I've assigned her (we're at the same level but I do some project management for a team we're both on). She's also checked out—she's been dropping the ball on some deadlines and disregarding certain workflow processes. I've suggested that she speak to a career coach or a recruiter, since she seems to be at a dead end in her job search and she is clearly unhappy in her current position. Whenever I suggest this, she says, "Yeah, maybe I should," but she hasn't. At this point, is there anything I can do to help her, other than lend a sympathetic ear? And, since I kind of have the feeling your answer will be that I’ve done all I can do, how can I better cope with her negativity? I don't want to say anything to upset her or to de-legitimize her feelings, but the only topic of conversation she seems capable of lately is complaining about work, and I can only take so much of it. I should add that I've had some low points in my own happiness at this job, but I've been trying hard to stay positive and stick it out so that I can gain more experience in my current role before moving on. You can read my answer to this letter at New York Magazine today. Head over there to read it. my coworker won’t stop complaining about work was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
| my boss pressures me to take sick leave, but I can’t afford to Posted: 24 Apr 2018 07:59 AM PDT A reader writes: I work in a small office of less than 10 people, and even then, there's usually only two or three of us actually working within it on any given day. I started off as an intern but have since been taken on as an employee – though I have never been given a contract stipulating annual leave or sick days. I just know what hours I work and what my rate of pay is. Recently I took time off for a planned holiday and was informed that I do not get paid when I'm not in the office – which is fair enough I guess, as the company is going through a bit of a rough patch, but is making my current conundrum that much more difficult. My boss is very anal about cleanliness (to the point of overkill, in my opinion, but I accept that it's not my place to say that), and it's starting to affect me. I don't get sick very often, and when I do I usually still come to work unless I feel awful – think a cough or a runny nose. We work in a single room and whenever my boss is in (she's usually one of the ones out of the office), she complains loudly about my being ill and that I should take a day off in case I get anyone else sick. (I should note – that hasn't happened yet, as I'm very careful, particularly because she's so pedantic about this issue. I should also note that I have taken sick leave once, when I felt I was too sick to come in.) I don't want to take sick days, as I feel fine aside from the minor ailment, and there's also the fact that I can't afford to stay off as often as she expects me to. I don't get paid for taking sick leave, and I'm finding the constant pressure to stay home when I'm not that unwell rather distressing, because it seems they are completely oblivious to the fact that not everyone can afford to do that! (Everyone – the bosses in particular – take days off willy nilly. I seem to be the only one with a regular schedule as I can't afford not to work! I also earn the lowest wage in the office – minimum wage). How should I address this with her? We're not particularly close, and these occurrences have made me feel even more detached from her, as I find her rather unpleasant. I'm made to feel like I'm disgusting for merely coughing at work. If this is a professional job, it's pretty bad that you don't receive any paid sick or vacation time. (It would be bad if it weren't a professional job too, but then at least it would be more common. Which is an awful state of affairs, but also the reality of it.) A professional job that pays you minimum wage and doesn't offer any paid time off is not a job to be satisfied with. You started as an intern so I'm guessing you don't have much of a frame of reference in which to assess this job, and I want you to know that this is not considered normal or okay, and you can do better! I hope you will actively look for something better. Meanwhile … If your boss doesn't want you to come in sick, she should give you paid sick time. If she chooses not to do that, people are going to come in sick so that they don't lose money. That's how it works. She's being naive at best. And frankly, even if you did get paid sick time, most people come to work with a cough or a runny nose at some point because sometimes those linger for weeks and no one takes off weeks at a time for a cold. So I think you're dealing with someone who's both really out of touch about paid sick time and also a bit of a jerk. (I say "jerk" because while it's reasonable not to want contagious colleagues at work spreading germs, it's not reasonable to expect no one will ever show up with a cough, and it's jerky to shame people for that when it happens.) Anyway, you have two basic options here: 1. Ignore her comments. When she complains about you being at work with a runny nose, mentally roll your eyes and let it go. Unless she's explicitly telling you not to come in when you're sick, you can let this be her issue and not yours. If you can, you might even try to feel mild pity for her for being a boor — not because she deserves pity, but because reframing it like that might help you feel better about the situation. 2. Say something. Whether or not this makes sense to do depends on how open your boss is to hearing Things She May Not Like, but in a lot of cases, it would be fine for you to say any of these: It would also be worth finding out whether the rest of your coworkers have paid time off, or whether none of them do. It's possible that your boss still has you in some kind of intern-ish category where you're paid but don't get the same benefits as everyone else does, in which case you could try to negotiate to be moved to regular-employee status with benefits. Or, if you find out that lots of people in this office don't get paid time off, you could suggest pushing back on that as a group. There's some risk in doing that, especially as a junior level person, but sometimes that can lead to real change. Either way, though, please do look for a job that isn't so far below the average for acceptable compensation, so that you're not in this situation long-term. my boss pressures me to take sick leave, but I can’t afford to was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. |
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