Skip to main content

don’t put “sexual purity” on your resume, boss left a private email open during a screenshare, and more Ask a Manager

don’t put “sexual purity” on your resume, boss left a private email open during a screenshare, and more Ask a Manager


don’t put “sexual purity” on your resume, boss left a private email open during a screenshare, and more

Posted: 25 Feb 2018 09:03 PM PST

It's five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Don't mention your "sexual purity" on your resume

I am reviewing law student applications for a summer internship/clerkship position at a large public law firm. One applicant included, among other standard experience stuff, that he was a "Co-Leader of a Young Men's Sexual Purity Accountability Group" during his undergrad years. Alison, what do I do with this information? I can see in some contexts that this might(?) be appropriate (he also included a lot of not super relevant church activities on his resume), but I can't figure out why he would include this in this context. The other members of the hiring panel are as put off by this as I am — are we right to have this reaction? I just don't want to know literally anything about applicants' sex lives!

Yeah, this is the other side of the question earlier this month from someone who wondered if there was a way to put his leadership of a sex club on his resume.

Your sex life stays off your resume.

Possibly this guy has just gotten very bad resume advice, but it certainly raises the concern that he doesn't understand what is and isn't appropriate to discuss in a work context. You are right to be squicked out and put off of his candidacy.

2. Boss left a message open during a screenshare, showing coworker’s raise

A few months ago, one of my bosses held a video call/screenshare with the entire company (relatively small business, around 10 of us). During the screenshare, she left her messages open, revealing a private conversation with another employee, offering her a raise. She made no move to close the conversation during the call, leaving it up for everyone to see.

I had expected some sort of apology about this, but no word. It’s awkward because I know that several of my coworkers have been upset with their pay and/or denied a raise. We no longer have yearly reviews, either.

Am I wrong to think that instead of letting this be the elephant in the room, my boss needs to say something? Should I approach her?

It was a few months ago, so I'd let it go. If it had just happened, you could say something like, "Hey, you may not have realized that during that screenshare, you had an email up between you and Jane about her salary. I figured you didn't intend that and I wanted to let you know in case anyone asks about it." But that's just alerting her to it — it's not complaining that your coworker got a raise. This long afterwards, though, there's no real point in bringing it up.

As for the actual content of the message, now you have the advantage of knowing some salary data you wouldn't otherwise have known. That can be useful background as far as what kind of thing your boss rewards and by how much, and you can potentially use that to figure out whether/how to pitch a raise for yourself.

3. In my first professional job, can I work through lunch and leave early?

I am a senior in college and I just accepted a job offer for after I graduate. My question is what to expect at a “real” salaried job, because in the past I’ve always worked as an hourly employee (internships, campus jobs, etc). I do software development, and at my internships I usually like to eat my lunch at my desk while working and then go home earlier, rather than clock out for a lunch break and have to leave later to get my eight hours in. I was wondering if that is generally considered okay for salaried employees? Or is it important to not leave earlier than other people in the office?

It depends on your office and on your boss, but as a default you should expect to work their full working hours, regardless of what you do with lunch.

At many jobs (and especially if you're exempt, which many software people are), it's not as much about getting eight hours in as it is about ensuring that you're there when you might be needed … and your boss might want you there through the end of the day in case questions for you come up, or someone wants to meet with you, or so forth.

And if you're exempt, you won't be clocking out for lunch anyway. (With exempt jobs, you're paid a salary that doesn't change regardless of the number of hours you work per day.)

So I'd start out planning to work whatever the office's standard hours are, regardless of how you handle lunch. Over time, you'll get a better feel for the office culture and whether anyone seems to work flexible schedules. If they do, after you've been there a while you could ask your boss about the possibility of doing the same. That said, flexible schedules are usually starting earlier or later and then staying a full workday from there; they're not usually about finding a way to be in the office less (especially as someone just starting out).

All of this is stuff you'll get a better sense of after you've been there a while. But for now, assume you'll be there the full day.

4. Should I disclose health info during a reference check?

I have a student assistant who wants to use me as a job reference. I don’t overall have a problem with this because she’s been a very good assistant in my classes.

However, that has not always been so with her as a student. After some behavior challenges in class (getting excessively frustrated, being very snappy, bursting into tears, refusing to speak, using inappropriate amounts of physical force when moving things around), she disclosed that she has pretty severe mental health issues behind these things but is getting treatment.

Since then I have found that if you define and enforce very clear and specific expectations and boundaries with her, far more detailed and explicit than in any typical working relationship, she controls herself beautifully. She just has to know down to tiny details what’s expected of her for her to thrive.

I am hopeful that an understanding workplace could do this for her, but if they don’t she could struggle (and has, she’s been fired more than once). So far I haven’t really seen her articulating this need herself, she instead usually asks for the opposite — large amounts of leeway instead of strict expectations. I figured it out through trial and error and by way of having a child with many of the same issues.

I feel like it’s wrong/illegal to disclose her health issues during a reference check, but I do feel like it would be useful information for any employer that she requires more explicit expectations than most people. How do I go about that without violating her privacy?

Definitely don't disclose her health issues to a reference-checker; they're legally not allowed to consider that information, and it would definitely be a violation of her privacy. However, you can, and probably should, talk about the fact that you've found she thrives with extremely detailed expectations, and that you've seen her struggle without those. Just don't mention the mental health part of it, which ultimately isn't the point anyway.

Also, if you haven't already shared these observations with the student herself, you should do that. It may help her better understand and articulate what she needs to be successful. Plus you should give her a heads-up that it's feedback you'd give to a reference-checker as well.

5. What to say if you need to rescind your acceptance of a job offer

My husband got into a sticky situation earlier this week and I wanted to get your take on it. Long story short, he verbally accepted an offer, realized he’d have an ethical crisis every day that he worked there, and then had to rescind his verbal acceptance.

We crafted the best email we could, citing the counter offer his company had (luckily!) given him rather than getting into a debate about ethics, but I was wondering if you had any advice for situations like this. Obviously if we could go back he never would’ve accepted the offer to start with, but assuming someone HAS to withdraw acceptance of an offer, how do you do that as politely as possible?

As quickly as possible is the most important thing, so that they can immediately do whatever they need to fill the gap. Wording-wise, I'd just be extremely apologetic and acknowledge that you know you're inconveniencing them. Generally I would not attribute it to a counter-offer; that's annoying, because employers expect you to have thought that through before you accepted the job with them (and it can look like you just used their offer as a way to get more money at your current job). I'd keep it vaguer in most cases.

For example: "I'm so sorry about this, but I'm not going to be able to accept the llama groomer job after all. I've had some circumstances change in my personal life that I didn't anticipate, and as a result I'm not in a position to leave my current job. I really apologize about this and regret the inconvenience I know it will cause. I admire the work you're doing and appreciated the chance to get to know you and I wish you nothing but success." (Your husband probably wouldn't want to say that last sentence since he has ethical issues with their work, but insert something nice there.)

don’t put "sexual purity" on your resume, boss left a private email open during a screenshare, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

loading...

Lexo edhe:

Postimet e fundit






Popular posts from this blog

Trajta e shquar dhe e pashquar e emrit

  Trajta e shquar dhe e pashquar e emrit Trajta themelore e emrit është rasa emërore e pashquar.  Nga trajta themelore ose parësore i fitojmë format e tjera gramatikore të emrit (trajtat). Emrat , si në njëjës ashtu edhe në shumës, përdoren në dy trajta: a) në trajtë të pashquar dhe b) në trajtë të shquar shquar. Emri në trajtën e pashquar tregon qenie, sende ose dukuri në përgjithësi, në mënyrë të papërcaktuar. P.sh.: një nxënës, një punëtor, një mendim , një mace, një laps etj. Emri në trajtën e shquar tregon qenie, sende ose dukuri të tjera, të veçuara nga gjërat e tjera të llojit të vet. P.sh.: nxënësi, punëtori, mendimi, macja, lapsi etj.   Formë përfaqësuese (bazë) e emrit është trajta e pashquar, numri njëjës, rasa emërore : djalë, vajzë, shkollë, lule, letër, njeri, kompjuter, lepur, qen, piano etj. Trajta e shquar e emrit formohet duke i pasvendosur formës përfaqësuese nyjën shquese, përkatësisht mbaresën: a) për emrat e gjin

Ese të ndryshme shqip

Ese dhe Hartime '' Ese dhe hartime të ndryshme shqip dhe anglisht '' Ndalohet rreptësisht kopjimi dhe postimi në një faqe tjetër.  Redaksia Rapitful ka lexuar disa ankesa në emailin e saj të bëra nga disa arsimtarë dhe profesorë ku janë ankuar se nxënësit po i kopjojnë esetë dhe hartimet nga faqja Rapitful dhe me ato ese apo shkrime po prezantohen gjatë shkrimit të eseve dhe hartimeve. Pra redaksia Rapitful kërkon nga nxënësit që të mos kopjojnë esetë dhe hartimet dhe me to të prezantohen para mësimdhënësve por le të jenë këto ese vetëm si një udhërrëfyes se si duhet të shkruhet një ese apo hartim dhe asesi të kopjohen. Ju faleminderit për mirëkuptim. Ese dhe hartime do te shtohen vazhdimisht keshtuqe na vizitoni prap. Nëse dëshironi Analiza letrare të veprave të ndryshme kliko mbi Analiza Letrare Kliko mbi titullin që ju intereson Ese për Diturinë   Për Mjekët! Fakultetet e sotme po kryhen me teste 6 arsye për të mos studiuar mjekësinë P

Tekste shqip: ““Ah Kjo Rruga E Gurbetit” - Shaqir Cërvadiku & Fatjon Dervishi” plus 21 more

Tekste shqip: ““Ah Kjo Rruga E Gurbetit” - Shaqir Cërvadiku & Fatjon Dervishi” plus 21 more “Ah Kjo Rruga E Gurbetit” - Shaqir Cërvadiku & Fatjon Dervishi “Du Me T'pa” - Gjyle Qollaku Nora Istrefi “Kercejna” - Sabiani Feat. Denis Taraj Getoar Selimi “Du Me T'pa” - Lori Bora Zemani “Million” - Melissa
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Labels

Show more